Nouveau Girl Blog

Osama Teen Hunger Force

Posted on February 16th, 2007 by April.
Categories: Homeland Security, Humor, Video.

This just in.

Al Jazeera releases video of a terrorist group planning the Boston area Mooninites attack.

The video clearly shows Boston was the target of terrorists and not a gorilla marketing campaign that some would like to believe.

[via collegehumor.com]

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The Mooninites Go To Boston

Posted on February 14th, 2007 by April.
Categories: Homeland Security, Media, Politics, Stupid, Unhinged, Video.

The players

	The Cartoon
	The Sign (front) - Off
	The Sign (back) - Off
	The Sign - On

The Movie

Behold, the coordinated campaign of terror wreaked upon Boston Mooninite agents Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens as it unfurls!  (update: This video is now being used as evidence against them.)

Mooninite Links

Flickr: Mooninites Sign Photoset

Opinion: Bruce Schneier - "Non-Terrorist Embarrassment in Boston"

Reporting: Wired - "Did Peter Beredovsky Really Break The Law?"
Reporting: Wired - "Mooninite Bombs Made Of Batteries and Wires"
Reporting: Wired - "Arrests Made In Mooninite Plot To Blow Up Boston"
Reporting: KOMO TV - "‘Suspicious’ light devices found in Seattle"

eBay: Buy a Mooninites Sign (this one sold for $1275)

Wikipedia: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Wikipedia: Keystone Cops

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Terror Alertness Quiz

Posted on February 12th, 2007 by April.
Categories: Fun, Homeland Security, Humor, Terror.

Are you doing your part to keep The Homeland safe? Take this short quiz and find out if you can spot potential danger.

These pictures demonstrate the potential threats our country faces everyday from objects that might, could, or just feel like a property destroying, economic stifling, murderous child killing, or America hating something. Are you with us, or against us?

Instructions:

• Print out the quiz so you’ll have a safe and secure way to record your answers.
• Examine each picture for ten (10) seconds.
• Did you notice a suspicious device or package in the picture? If you did, draw a circle around the bad face (left). If you did not, draw a circle around the happy face (right).
• Store your copy of the quiz in a secure location under appropriate document archival conditions.

In a few days, we’ll publish the correct answers, instruction detailing how to calculate your score, and information regarding government authorized training centers in your area should you score below the minimum national terror alertness level.

IMPORTANT: Do not share your answers with anyone unless requested by an agent of the government with official Department of Homeland Security identification, or a government contractor using DHS form IDF-543.S/4b. Failure to keep your quiz answers restricted to authorized personal only, could result in five (5) years imprisonment, a $25,000 fine, or both.

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Bonus Question

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Who’s Really Winning TWoT?

Posted on August 25th, 2006 by April.
Categories: Homeland Security, Ignorant, Stupid, Terror.

What The Terrorists Want

Bruce Schneier is a voice of reason in a world full of panic and illogical reactions.

Mr. Schneier is a renowned security technologist, author, and regular contributer to The New York Times, Wired magazine and many other international publications. It’s often said, when people want to know how security really works, they turn to Schneier.

His writings cover a wide range of issues, from critical security faults in technology and "movie plot" terror fears, to ineffective use of resources deployed to mitigate terror threats.

His latest essay takes critical view at how the US (and the world) is responding to the latest terror plot involving liquid explosives on international flights.

Here’s an excerpt:

"The point of terrorism is to cause terror, sometimes to further a political goal and sometimes out of sheer hatred. The people terrorists kill are not the targets; they are collateral damage. And blowing up planes, trains, markets or buses is not the goal; those are just tactics. The real targets of terrorism are the rest of us: the billions of us who are not killed but are terrorized because of the killing. The real point of terrorism is not the act itself, but our reaction to the act.

And we’re doing exactly what the terrorists want.

We’re all a little jumpy after the recent arrest of 23 terror suspects in Great Britain. The men were reportedly plotting a liquid-explosive attack on airplanes, and both the press and politicians have been trumpeting the story ever since.

In truth, it’s doubtful that their plan would have succeeded; chemists have been debunking the idea since it became public. Certainly the suspects were a long way off from trying: None had bought airline tickets, and some didn’t even have passports.

Regardless of the threat, from the would-be bombers’ perspective, the explosives and planes were merely tactics. Their goal was to cause terror, and in that they’ve succeeded.

Imagine for a moment what would have happened if they had blown up 10 planes. There would be canceled flights, chaos at airports, bans on carry-on luggage, world leaders talking tough new security measures, political posturing and all sorts of false alarms as jittery people panicked. To a lesser degree, that’s basically what’s happening right now."

[emphasis added]

I suggest browsing his web site and reading his other essays. His arguments are clear and shine a bright light on what’s wrong with our current counter-terror efforts. Profiling, surveillance, being reactive to threats instead of proactive.

Schneier on Security

I’d also suggest reading an article over at reason.com that offers a different prospective to living with terrorist threats that’s rarely (or excluded) discussed by the main stream media. Don’t Be Terrorized - "You’re more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder".

Editors Note: This article was originally published here.  It has been republished on this site to preserve continuity.

0 comments.

The War on Lip Gloss

Posted on August 10th, 2006 by April.
Categories: Homeland Security, Ignorant, Politics, Security, Stupid, Terror, Travel.

If I can’t fly with lip gloss the Terrorists have won!

I understand the TSA is just trying to protect the traveling public. I can snack on my mini bag of pretzels without fear. Safe from crazed fundamentalists wielding nail clippers. Pinching fellow passenger and breaking their skin, possibly causing a bad infection.

Yes, I’ll be safe knowing passenger 22A (I’m watching you) will be busy doing the crossword puzzle with a sharp pencil and not planning to take over the plane using a sharp nail clipper.

- sarcasm off

I want REAL security not window dressing!

The aviation Threat Level was elevated today in response to the events in the UK. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) implemented several security measures to protect the traveling public.

Quoting from the TSA press release:

"Passengers are not allowed to have gels or liquids of any kind at screening points or in the cabin of any airplane."

"This includes beverages, food, suntan lotion, creams toothpaste, hair gel, or similar items. Those items must be packed into checked luggage. Beverages bought on the secure side of the checkpoint must be disposed of before boarding the plane."

There are a few exceptions. Baby formula and breast milk if a baby or small child is traveling for example.

The TSA statement does not mention if the breast milk or formula is required to be "taste tested". New measures in the UK require contents of each bottle must be tasted by the accompanying passenger.

My initial reaction to these new measures?

Nonsense.

We don’t want any improvised Diet Coke & Mentos explosive devices (ICDMEDs) on aircraft, so the restriction preventing passengers from boarding with any beverages purchased in the boarding area (past the security checkpoint) I fully support. [tounge in cheek]

But let’s be real…

The plot in the UK involved binary explosives - two "safe" liquids that when mixed explode.

The restriction only covers CARY ON items. Liquid (including explosives) may be packed in your checked baggage.

If there is really a threat from carry-on binary explosive liquids… why would TSA personal have passengers pour their illicit liquids into a common container?

Even if unopened, why risk combining the two binary liquid explosives in a common trash can?

Look at the above picture. If there’s any risk two liquids poured into the above container could explode… shouldn’t the bomb squad be handling this?

If a terrorists is in the airport with an explosive… that’s the real failure.

I see it like this… either the TSA is clueless, the TSA thinks passengers are clueless and just need to "feel" better, or this is an attempt to further scare the public.

UPDATE: After reviewing the TSA web site, I see you can now board with nail clippers but cattle prods must still be checked.

Suggested Reading:

     BBC News
     The New York Times
     TSA Press Release
     Schneier on Security
     Educated Guesswork

Editors Note: This article was originally published here.  It has been republished on this site to preserve continuity.

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